Bible-Prayer-Europe Equipping Center

 Your Household

"And a man's foes shall be they of his own household."

Matthew 10.36

In today's society a "household" simply means

the people who live together as a family.

In other words, the people who have an intimate

relationship with us--the ones who live with us 24

hours a day--the ones who we eat with, relax with,

and the ones with whom we share our ideas and dreams.

The members of our household claim to know us

better than anyone else. Isn't it interesting that

Jesus said that these would be our enemies, as we

follow Him. Our "loved ones" are the very people

that stand against us, battle us, and try to defeat

us.

How many times the following statement has been

used when referring to our families. "If you can be

a Christian at home, you can be a Christian

anywhere!"

How can that happen? How can our family

members be our enemies? Is it because we relax "our

guard" at home? We become easy targets?

Is it because people can be their old "ugly"

selves at home and get by with it? We don't have to

care about each others feelings because after all, we

are a family.

For example, when we get married, we are so in

love with our spouse. We want to please them and

make them "happy". Boom! Then the honeymoon is

over!  Reality begins and antagonism sets in.

Words and actions occur that cause battles, wounds,

destruction, unforgiveness, walls, and separation.

Marriage in the "wrong hands" can be a killer to

those involved.

Christian men and women everywhere will agree that

spouses have killed their joy, their confidence,

their trust, and their spiritual fruitfulness. Their

spouse has become an enemy and they feel trapped in

their own household.

A household can contain other enemies besides

the spouse. These enemies are better known as

"children".

Children are intended to be a heritage from the

Lord. They are blessings, according to the Word of

God. Parents are to be thankful for them. Christian

parents want the "very best" for their children. How

could a blessing become an enemy?

As a parent have you ever noticed that when you

are the busiest and most pressure filled is the time

that your children spill their milk, bring home a bad

grade, get in trouble, fuss, or are just simply a

"problem"?

Have you noticed that when you have had a bad

day at the office that it coincides exactly with

problems from your teenager?

Are marital strife and children problems

just normal? Is it just coincidence that when one

problem occurs in our household that several other

problems occur simultaneously?

Could there be something dangerous going on in

our households that we as Christians need to be aware

of in order to protect our families?

Spouse and children problems are only "the

effects" that reveal a "killer" is truly at work in

our households.

Jesus stated that a house divided against

itself cannot stand. It's an impossibility. What

was He talking about?

It's very simple--God instituted families and

the devil is therefore trying to destroy them.

Families are on the devil's "hit list".

Therefore, the real killer in the Christian

home is not the spouse or the children. It goes

deeper. It goes to what is working in the unseen

realm of our family's lives.

In other words, "Who is in charge?" God or the

devil? Have we set up an idol by trying to please

our family members more than trying to obey God.

Idols are deadly and Deuteronomy 7.26 states that

they bring a curse with them.

Have we cursed our homes by forgetting our

priorities? It is so easy to get our eyes on those

family members that mean so much to us and to forget

to seek what God's desire is for our household.

Proverbs 3.6 states, "In all thy ways

acknowledge him (the Lord) and he shall direct thy

paths". When we as believers forget this and our

"priorities" get out of line with God's will as

stated in the Bible we have opened the door for all

kinds of family problems that can hinder our

Christian walk.

When God is not first in our home and His

wisdom is ignored then we as Christians are opening

the door for Satan to attack through our spouse and

our children.

If there is no obedience to God's Word, then

the only alternative is rebellion. For example, if

parents don't know and obey God's Word in setting

guidelines in the home, then many times the children

grow up undisciplined and rebellious toward

authority.

If Godly love is ignored, then hatred and

anger flourish. There is no option.

If God's Word is not read and taught, then it

is easy for the "things of this world" and their

pleasures to creep into your household and make it

barren and unfruitful.  Matthew 13.22 says "..and the

care of this age, and the deceitfulness of riches,

choke the word, and he (the person)  becometh unfruitful."

If God's standards are not known or followed,

then "compromise" becomes the standard. Compromise

is never equal or fair. One participant always loses

more than the other participant in an issue involving

compromise. Furthermore, both participants in a

compromise always give up something.

Compromise can kill. A Christian must always

remember that God never compromises His standards. If

we try to compromise God's standards for our

household we will lose out every time. Is losing our

family worth the cost of worldly compromise?

If God's peace is not controlling our

households, then in its place will come fighting and

strife born out of human lusts.

Without God being supreme in our households

there is no stability. Everyday life will be

uncertain. It will be a roller coaster ride of good

days and bad days. There will be an instability

which results in the loss of our Godly inheritance

and blessings. Our household members outside of

God's control will definitely become our enemies.

Just think of who it is that can wound us the

easiest with an angry word--those we love. How much

it can hurt when we are misunderstood by someone

close to us. In an unstable household it is easy for

bitterness, resentment, and anger to develop when we

feel betrayed by our spouse or our children.

This anger, bitterness, and resentment just

increase the household problems and causes the

offender to be even more offensive and stronger in

retaliation. It may develop into feeling like a hand

to hand combat while living in a house that's become

a war zone.

It is a fact that it is hard as a Christian to

have a non-believer in your household, whether it

be a spouse or a child.

However, it is even more difficult to have a

believing spouse or child who is in rebellion against

God or having problems in their relationship with

God.

The reason for this being that a Christian out

of fellowship with God is the most miserable person

on the face of the earth.

A person who is saved and has become a new

creature in Christ Jesus doesn't belong in the world

anymore. Therefore, when a saved family member gets

"upset" with God and tries to "go their own way" they

can't do it. It's impossible because they are not of

the world anymore.

A saved person can't go back into the world and

be happy because they simply don't fit in the world

anymore. It's like a square peg trying to fit into a

round hole. It simply won't work!

A born-again believer can not be happy anywhere

but in God's kingdom and under His control.

Tragically, a rebellious or stubborn "child of God" is

miserable and will try to make everyone in the

household miserable with them.

If we have a spouse or a child in this

condition, we can count on being "attacked" for even

reading the Bible.

They will get angry if we want to share what

God is doing in our lives. This "miserable" family

member will become like an enemy under the devil's

control in order to try and disrupt what God is doing

in us and the other members of our household who are

trying to follow God.

What can we do when our enemies are those of

our own household?

First, we as a Christian need to keep our focus

on God and off the "enemy" household member. Don't

focus on the problem. We must focus our attention on

God who is bigger than the problem. We must continue

to read the Bible and pray and don't let the

situation distract us. God is greater than the

devil. God is the only one Who can discipline,

deliver, and restore His wayward children. God is

the only one Who can give us the strength and

perseverance we need to endure until He brings the

victory.

Second, through the power of the Holy Spirit we

can stay out of anger and retaliation. We don't have

to argue and enter into rebellion with them, as this

will only hinder what God is trying to do and bring

God's discipline upon us.

Third, we need to rely upon the power of the

Holy Spirit to bring us through the ever "escalating"

behavior and "temper tantrums". It may seem to get

worse before the victory comes. We must remember

that the devil fights the hardest when he is losing.

We must through the power of the Holy Spirit die to

self daily and become alive to Christ. Remember,

when we are dead to the flesh and under the total

control of Jesus we are not at the mercy of this

"miserable" family member any longer. They can't get

us angry or frustrated. It is impossible for them to

control us in any way. We can't be hurt because we

are "dead" to the flesh.

Fourth, we must continue steadfast in prayer

for this individual, and for the other members of our

household. We must not quit, give in to fear,

or give up. We must stand on the Word. There is

nothing too hard for God.

There will be an end. God will win.

It is God Who defeats our enemy the devil and

saves the members of our household.