Bible-Prayer-Europe Equipping Center

A minister's wife can easily be tempted by the sin of a self- righteous attitude. It becomes "natural" to flaunt self-importance as church members flatter and praise a minister's wife for her "sweetness" and "accomplishments".

This same worldly attitude makes it acceptable for the ones in "greater positions" to criticize the ones that they perceive as "lesser" for their "inadequacies" or perceived "failures to measure up".

This world system of false piety promotes confidence building by leaders making others feel untalented, insecure, or humiliated. Sadly, a minister's wife can become a victim of this worldly deception. She can quickly turn her leadership position into a grab for "self-glory".

God's standards for leaders definitely clash with the world's rules. God calls this grab for "self glory" the sin of pride and hypocrisy, and He warns His children not to become ensnared by it. God knows the destructive results.

God has stated in Proverbs 16.18 that, "Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

The very things that a minister's wife is proud of,  are the very things that can ruin her life and render her useless to the Kingdom of God. There is no room for pride in the life of God's leaders. They must remember that they are servants. God is to be supreme in every area of a minister's wife's life. There cannot be any self exaltation.

It was self exaltation that made Lucifer fall from his heavenly position. It was the prideful "I will.." that built the tower of Babel. It was King Nebuchadnezzar's self glory that cost him his sanity. Pride cost Adam and Eve their inheritance, and pride can cost a person their position as a leader in the church.

There is no place for self-righteous pride in the lives of Christian leaders. A minister's wife needs to remember that she is bought with a price--the price that Jesus paid on the cross.

Christian leaders cannot do anything apart from Jesus Christ and expect it to stand. Anything done by human effort will not last here on earth, and will definitely have no eternal reward or blessing. Remember, anything done through self-righteous pride always brings about destruction.

This destruction is God's judgment on the sin of pride. The Bible says that God has given all judgment to Jesus Christ--the Word made flesh.

Minister's wives are never to sit in judgment upon the rights and wrongs of other Christian believers. Jesus alone can see people's hearts. He alone can righteously judge motives and actions, bring the verdict, and pronounce the judgment.

Even though minister's wives are not to be judges over people, they are commanded to be wise, and to be able to discern both good and evil. They need to be alert to the devil's lies and to be watchful of "wolves" who will sneak into a congregation disguised as sheep. ( The book of Jude in the New Testament gives specific directions about this topic.)

Remember, ministers and their wives are never to take part with the "stone throwing" self-righteous, pride filled, crowd at anytime or under any circumstances!

Self-righteous pride not only leads to judging and stone throwing, but it also lends itself to negativism and complaining. These can be very destructive to a minister's wife.

A prideful minister's wife may look at the congregation and disdainfully say to herself, "The pews are half empty! What a waste of our time." Negativism takes away thanksgiving and trust in God. It implies that God is not big enough either to handle everything that comes into a Christian's life, or that He is not interested in every aspect of a Christian's life.

This goes totally against what the Bible teaches about God and His love.

If Christian leaders encounter any situation in their church, or in their personal lives which they feel is impossible for God to change or correct, then they are pridefully limiting God's ability to act on behalf of their need.

These leaders need a closer look into God's Word. They need a clear picture of their Heavenly Father. In other words, they need a "perception change".

The Bible states that all power in heaven and earth is given to Jesus and that with God all things are possible.

Christian leaders need to be aware of who they are in Christ, and aware of what God through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit can do in their lives.

Pride also brings verbal griping and complaining. "The grass is always greener in another church." Therefore, leaders become discontent with the congregation that they are serving.

It is easy through pride to compare and weigh the blessings of another church's facilities, staff, finances and people against the church presently being served. This comparison may be stated one of two ways. Either the rival church far surpasses what the leader's church possesses or the other church is far below the leader's standards.

Comparison is wrong because staff members must not covet another's position or blessing. Neither should they belittle what God has entrusted to their own charge. It is a privilege to serve the Lord Jesus in any capacity.

Griping, murmuring, and complaining words should never be in a minister's wife's vocabulary as these words bring severe consequences. The Bible tells of leaders who lost blessings and even died because of murmuring.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." (Proverbs 18.21) Ministers' wives need to ask God to set a watch or guard on their lips. A minister's wife can thoughtlessly cause great damage to the ministry by prideful, complaining, gossiping words.

In fact, leaders and their wives may even be asked to leave their positions in the church because of the "fire" started by uncontrolled words.

Uncontrolled words not only can upset a church congregation, but the prideful, complaining words used by a minister's wife can also hurt her husband. For example, he may become dissatisfied with God's calling because of his wife's constant complaining about finances, people in the church, and what the other ministers' wives have that she does not possess.

Good news! God does have a solution for "self-righteous pride".

First, a minister's wife convicted in the area of self-righteous pride needs to ask God to forgive her for having the sin of a prideful attitude and an uncontrollable tongue.

Next, she needs to ask anyone she has offended by her tongue to forgive her. If it was an individual she needs to go privately to that individual. If she spoke wrongly in front of the congregation then the minister's wife needs to go in front of the church and ask for forgiveness. (a word of caution: Don't just go to anybody to ask forgiveness. Always be sure of who and why, so that the matter is handled correctly and God is glorified. For example, if there is only 1 or 2 people involved then it would be wrong to involve the hundreds in the congregation in a private matter. No useful purpose would be served.)

Third, the minister's wife needs to have the mind of Christ in order to gain the proper perspective on herself and her husband's situation. She needs to let God cleanse her heart and her mind from selfish thoughts and replace them with His thoughts. This is done through daily Bible study and prayer.

Lastly, the minister's wife needs to realize that she cannot control her tongue in her own strength. God must set a guard on her lips. He alone through the power of the Holy Spirit can bridle a tongue. Jesus died so that believers could be free from sin. That sin should no longer have dominion or rule. It is possible through Jesus to have speech that is seasoned with grace and that the law of kindness governs.